Thursday, January 7, 2016

Product Madness Update

This just in from Wad Master:

Those creative crazies are at it again. Word is that they are about to embark on a new campaign to revitalize education. The program they're going to start promoting calls for the tearing down of all K-12 schools, letting the land be lease out for more localized server farms. In their place would be thousands of multi-purpose learning kiosks set up in every shopping mall across the country. The dual role kiosks would not only help Jack and Jill learn to read and count (you can't buy what you can't read about, and how can you manage more purchases if you can't know how much money you have), but will also quickly convert into 25 person machine gun bunkers in the event of any terrorist attack. Implanted chips specially coded will ensure that only school age children will be allowed into the kiosks during such attacks, with prestocked, short barrel, fully automatic carbines, at the ready on Supremo Ammo Mags. The entire gun and mag assembly would be height adjustable, of course, to make sure every kid can kill with ergonomic ease.

Wad Master is hoping that the more artistic among the population will come up with interesting exterior design approaches to the kiosks, any examples of which will be presented here. The wiz wags at W.M. assure us that prizes of enormous value may well be given away for the best entries so stay tuned.